


Love is Fluid

by CheetahLeopard2



Series: Blame The Discord [7]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A CHEATING FIC, M/M, Natural progression of love, No cheating, Yakuza
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-24
Updated: 2018-07-24
Packaged: 2019-06-15 19:33:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,159
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15420036
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CheetahLeopard2/pseuds/CheetahLeopard2
Summary: The loves of Oikawa Tooru throughout his life





	Love is Fluid

**Author's Note:**

> For OikawaChallenge2018!!!!
> 
> tumblrs: CheetahLeopard, AvienWrites
> 
> Playlist for this: https://open.spotify.com/user/22tzp3njgzhmphj4qt4fldnxa/playlist/1iSVSX8w3T9OGFoHloHZvy

**Sugawara Koushi: Not All Love is Meant for Forever**

 

They’re roommates. That’s how most romances start, right? With some sort of circumstance forcing together the two meant to fall in love.

 

The day Tooru moves into the college dorms is the day he shakes off his mother’s guidance.

It’s not so much that she’s been a bad mother, it’s that she had the potential to be. If Tooru’s being generous, she has different political views that set them apart. If he’s not being generous, she’s a bigoted asshole who would’ve sent him to conversion therapy without question.

Luckily Tooru never felt the need to come out to her.

Even though the topic hardly ever came up in his mother’s house except for the occasional passing comment on how disgusting the sick [slurs] are, Tooru sometimes finds her influence in his thoughts, when he looks at a man and feels like he’s doing something wrong.

It’s vaguely horrifying, how someone he isn’t that fond of is able to imprint so much upon his thought process.

But now he finally has the freedom to rewire his thoughts in a more positive way, and he looks forwards to doing that by appreciating boys and girls and others alike, while trying to not let his new freedom lead to him lending his heart to the first pretty person he sees.

That plan goes out the window the moment he opens his dorm door and his eyes catch on silver hair.

There’s a beautiful boy sitting on one of the beds, silver hair catching in the soft rays of sunlight filtering in from the window in the middle of the opposite wall. He’s leaning over his phone with his chin in hand and his elbow on his knee.

Tooru doesn’t believe in love at first sight.

But this boy makes him believe in attraction at first sight.

The boy looks up at the sound of the dorm door opening, and his expression is relaxed, a slight smile tugging the corners of his lips and cheeks slightly red, probably from whatever he was doing on his phone. His eyes are a lighter brown than Tooru’s own and crinkled at the corners, and he has a mole to the side of the left one.

Tooru has to remind himself to breath.

“You must be my roommate,” the boy says, unfolding his legs to get off the bed and take a step towards him, holding out a hand, “I’m Sugawara Koushi, but you can call me Suga!”

Tooru barely holds back the urge to get down on one knee and kiss Suga’s hand, but he’s been putting up false fronts his whole life and manages to hide it.

Tooru shakes Suga’s hand and takes note of the mischievous glint in his eye. He has a feeling they’ll get along just fine, “Oikawa Tooru, it’s nice to meet you Suga-chan!”

Suga’s eyes widen almost imperceptibly before his smile becomes more of a grin, “The pleasure’s mine.”

Tooru’s mother coughs from behind him, and Tooru abruptly remembers that his freedom doesn’t start yet.

“Hello Suga-kun, I hope you and Tooru will get along well.”

“I have high hopes,” Suga shakes his mother’s hand, and she laughs, charmed.  

Tooru filters in and out of the room, pulling things out of boxes and setting up his drawers until it’s time for his mother to leave.

He and Suga quickly fall into a routine. On most days, they wake up to Tooru’s alarm in the morning, and Tooru heads to practice while Suga goes to his morning class. On the days Suga doesn’t have class, he’ll wake up briefly and mumble a soft, “Goodbye,” that makes Tooru’s heart ache.

That’s something that’s been happening a lot lately. His heart aching.

It’s only been about a couple weeks, and the physical appreciation for Suga Tooru had initially has melded into something softer, curling closer around his heart with every laugh that passes through Suga’s lips, with every teasing remark he makes, with every time Suga pouts about Tooru’s height.

 

Everything falls into place after a few months of falling into each other’s gravity, and Tooru can’t be happier.

Until he starts noticing that their interactions become more habit than anything else. That things he used to find endearing and cute no longer make him smile.

Until he realizes that neither of them hold love in their heart for each other anymore.

 

It’s a mutual breakup, and Suga even helps him move out.

(“I’m sorry it had to end like this.”

“The memories were worth it, but it’s just that I-”

“I just-”

 _“Don’t feel the love anymore.”_ )

 

**Kuroo Tetsurou: I Hate Myself For Loving You**

 

Tooru’s been working hard for the past few days. He really has, and it shows in the bags under his eyes that are now too dark for concealer. Which is why on thursday his boss all but forces him to take at least one paid friday off and tells him to go home early.

Tooru spends the rest of the afternoon sleeping, before he wakes up restless for interaction in a way he hasn’t been in a long time.

He picks out his best skinny jeans, a blue-teal collared shirt with the top two buttons undone, grabs his wallet and phone, and walks out the door.

Tooru ends up in a nightclub a few streets away from his apartment, in the opposite direction as work.

If he lies to himself he can say he’s there for a fun night out, that he’ll go home after a drink or two.

He’s not good at lying to himself.

He’s there to forget himself, to spend the night in the arms of a stranger, to pretend love isn’t something he misses.

 

When he actually gets inside, though, the first thing he sees is a familiar black bedhead, one he hasn’t seen since college.

 Tetsurou happens to look towards the door at the same time Tooru’s eyes catch on him, and his features betray his surprise before they’re schooled into a smirk and he’s making his way through the crowd.

“So,” Tetsurou lears, “What’re you doing here? Unrequited crush or loneliness?”

Tooru pastes on a brittle smile, “What do you think Tettchan?”

“Loneliness, then,” Tetsurou’s smirk drops into something more sincere, and Tooru sighs.

“And you?” Tooru asks as Tetsurou gestures to the bartender.

Tetsurou is quiet for a moment, and when two shot glasses are set in front of them he finally speaks, “Crushes follow their name, you know? They go for your heart, then your spirit.”

Tooru doesn’t know how to reply, and Tetsurou meets his gaze, “So I came here to get it back.”

Tooru raises his shot towards Tetsurou, who mirrors him, “Kanpai.”

 

One thing leads to another, and both of them get a shot of the drug of forgetting for the night.

It becomes a regular thing, and Tooru wishes he were better at lying to himself when he tells himself that it’ll only happen one more time.

 

\---

 

“You gonna stay for the night?” Tetsurou asks when Tooru steps out of the bathroom, steam from the shower wafting out behind him.

Tooru can feel a familiar swell of emotion threaten to choke him, and his eyes burn even as he chirps out a chipper, “Maybe next time, Tettchan, but I should get home.”

“Alright,” Tetsurou takes a moment to stretch, and Tooru looks away from the way his muscles shift under his tan skin, overcome with the intense churning of his stomach, the feeling of touching something that is clearly someone else's with longing making him feel slimy and small.

Tooru waits until Tetsurou grabs clothes and heads to the shower before he grabs his things and walks back to his apartment in a mechanical daze.

If he concentrates he can almost forget the affection that rose when Tetsurou addressed him. Almost. Too bad he can’t lie to himself well.

He can’t do this again. He can’t be will someone who doesn’t love him, especially when he loves them. Especially if it’s just sex.

They had known from the beginning that they were just cultivating unhealthy coping mechanisms, using sex to override everything else in their lives.

Tooru wouldn’t even want a relationship on the basis of that. Especially like it would be for Tetsurou, who’d be using him as a replacement for the target of his affections.

Why must his heart betray him.

 

 _I hate myself for loving you_.

 

\---

 

When Tetsurou texts him a bunch of exclamation marks a couple of days later, followed by an excited retelling of how he now has a boyfriend, Tooru texts back that they should get coffee so he can get the full story.

He didn’t mean for it to feel like his heart is breaking. He doesn’t want the tears that come.

He doesn’t have a choice.

 

When he walks into the coffee shop and a head of unruly black hair catches his eye, Tooru flashes back to all those months ago, before his heart betrayed him.

“Tettchan.” Tooru greets, and his friend must see it in his eyes.

“You fell for me, didn’t you?” Tetsurou’s voice is soft and holds no accusations.

“My heart betrayed me,” Tooru laughs mirthlessly.

“I didn’t mean for it to be this way,” Tetsurou says, somewhat helplessly.

“I know.” And Tooru does. He knows that Tetsurou would never do something to intentionally hurt him.

“I’m sorry.”

“It’s my fault,” Tooru says, hoping that Tetsurou realizes what he means.  _It was my fault I went to that club. It was my fault this started. It was my fault my heart found a home in you._ Tetsurou stands to leave, and the sincerity in Tooru’s voice stops him, “I hope you’re happy with him.”

“Thank you,” Tetsurou spares him one last smile. And then he’s gone.

Tooru would be lying if he said he didn’t cry himself to sleep for a while after that, and by now it’s a commonly accepted fact.

Oikawa Tooru can not lie to himself.

 

**Iwaizumi Hajime: Sometimes Love is Cut Short.**

 

Tooru used to think, sometimes, that he’s not cut out for love. His only serious relationship had ended because the love left it, and his heart yearned after a man he didn’t want to love.

Now, he wakes up in the arms of his boyfriend and takes the time to watch light play across his peaceful face.

Now, he banters playfully as they dance in the living room late at night.

Now, his heart remembers how it is to be full.

Today, he’s waking up in strong arms with a head on his chest and spiky hair in his face, and he couldn’t be happier.

And that’s when he remembers what the day will bring, and the ring is a clear picture in his mind.

Smiling, he extracts himself from Hajime’s hold and goes to make breakfast.

 

His plans are foiled when strong arms wrap around his waist while he tends to the eggs, but he can’t bring himself to mind.

Tooru switches off the stove and carefully plates the eggs before turning in Hajime’s hold, “Hey.”

“Hey yourself,” Hajime’s voice is still gruff with sleep, but holds a certain fondness to it that has Tooru giving in to the urge to lean his head down and kiss him.

“We’re getting married today,” Tooru whispers against Hajime’s lips, and he feels them curl into a soft smile.

“Can’t wait.”

 

Those two words echo in Tooru’s ears later when the sound of gunshots has stopped ringing through the air, when he’s holding the body of his dead almost-husband.

The red staining his hands spreads through Hajime’s white tux, and Hajime weakly pulls him closer before the panicked crowd.

_“I do.”_

_\---_

It was the yakuza, Tooru later learns. The Aoba Johsai branch, whose leader had beef with the priest who was supposed to marry them.

Tooru finds solace in his first love’s arms that night, with both of them waking up to bitter regret.

He walks out Koushi’s door, and Oikawa Tooru ceases to exist.

  


~*~

  


Years later finds a handsome man politely laughing as he watches the man he seduced drink poisoned wine.

 

If asked, people can easily remember Aoba Johsai, and the horrible stories that surround it.

If asked, members of the underground will tell you the story of how the leader of Aoba Johsai fell into the hands of a twenty-something man, and how that man easily won over the loyalties of most of his men and poisoned the leader. They will tell you the fall of Aoba Johsai, and the rise of the underground empire known as Seijoh, headed by a ruthless man with nothing to lose who goes by the name Iwaizumi Tooru.

Some say he took over for power, others for money.

 

Really all that there is is a broken man whose revenge led him to a life he doesn’t want that he can never leave.

**Author's Note:**

> PLEASE COMMENT 
> 
> AND PLEASE VOTE FORE ME HERE: https://goo.gl/forms/a0eXCBAljpOxxa8R2


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